I can’t believe the mixed-
messages our media-driven
society sends regarding
today’s topic. If you watch
daytime television or
Lifetime Network (which I
don’t, whenever possible)
you’ll be hit with
commercials depicting some
hot mommies doing their
typical superhuman things,
including dealing with several
toddlers while looking good
doing it. Then, watch late-
night television (which I also
don’t, whenever possible)
and you’ll be hit with
infomercials designed to
make women feel self-
conscious about what
motherhood has done to
their physical appearance.
Whatever.
You know by now how I feel
about what the media has
done to distort our concept
of what really is attractive
to the opposite sex. So
make no mistake about it:
Motherhood can be, and I
would argue usually is, very
sexy. In just about every
way.
The low hanging fruit here
(no, not that) is the rise of
MILFdom in recent years. If
you are unfamiliar with the
term look it up elsewhere,
but for all intents and
purposes MILF = sexy mom.
For some reason, and a
good one, even younger
guys have figured out that
Stacey’s Mom Has Got It
Going On.
That’s no joke either. If you
are a 35 year old woman
with an online profile, you
might be getting
“messages” from younguns
who haven’t even cleared
college age yet. No, this isn’t
some weird (and recurring)
software error. They’re
digging you.
I have personally been out
with several women in their
thirties who had daughters
at a very young age. These
kids are now in high school.
Each mama had a story to
tell when I asked if there’s
ever an issue when their
daughters’ little boy friends
meet mom. One woman even
has a pact with her daughter
that they won’t date anyone
closer in age to the other
than themselves. Hilarious,
but true.
How about before a woman
has even given birth—during
her pregnancy? Yeah ladies,
we know…us guys hear all
the time how “fat, etc.” you
are getting. You feel
disgusting. Well, you aren’t.
ESPECIALLY to the Dad. Now
we aren’t talking about man-
boy I/Js (Idiot/Jerks) here
who either 1) are using a
woman’s pending new family
commitment (and the fact
that presumably she
wouldn’t dare leave him while
in that “condition”) as an
excuse to throw down with
every chickie babe silly
enough to let him have a
piece, or… 2) …who are just
flat out morons. Mama, if
your man loves you, he
loves you pregnant. When he
tells you that you are
beautiful, will you please
believe it? That’s his kid
going on in there! In fact,
some guys are turned on by
pregnant women in general,
and there are Web sites to
prove it.
If you look at scientific
studies on how heterosexual
men and women become
attracted to one another, it
often comes down to
archetypal response to
pointers of fertility. I mean,
let’s face it: sexual
attraction, from the natural
aspect, comes down to
procreation. S/he who is
more fertile is more
attractive. Fertility and
gene-pool quality (which is
another topic altogether)
are what make us attractive
to the opposite gender a lot
of the time. So here it is—if
you are a mom already, it
makes sense that your
proven fertility is going to
make you attractive to men.
If you want to argue with me
on this, go for it, but I
believe very strongly that
this is the case. At the very
least, men often are not
turned off by the physical
effects of pregnancy like
many women somehow seem
to believe. On top of all else,
don’t be surprised that
many guys--if they are man
enough to admit it—actually
have no issue with the
stretch marks and any
other evidence that you
have been pregnant before. I
personally believe that
caesarian scars are sexy.
And I’m not weird.
So is this only all about
looking good? I really don’t
think so. There is something
about motherhood that
changes a woman. Not all
guys understand this
pragmatically, but many
respond positively to such
things—even if
subconsciously.
Everyone knows that
confidence is a huge turn-on
for both genders. And moms
tend to learn life’s tough
lessons about responsibility.
Especially single moms. Any
guy who wants to find an
amazing woman--one with a
confident attitude to take on
the world with--should hang
out with a single mom or two.
'Nuff said.
And, you know what? It might
not hurt to add how
fatherhood tends to be a
turn on for women also,
especially…moms. Big
surprise there, right? Have
you ever noticed that moms
and dads really tend to
appreciate each other—even
at the raw attraction level?
Yeah, well, I’m a Dad…and I
absolutely have.
Copyright 2006 X & Y
Communications
About The Author
Want to hear more? Scot
McKay is a dating coach in
San Antonio, TX and founder
of X & Y Communications, a
one-stop-shop for dating
resources. He is the author
of the new book “Deserve
What You Want”, and hosts
the popular podcast series
“X & Y On The Fly”. He may
be reached at
scot@xandycommunications.net
or on the Web at http://
www.dating-advice.us/ and
http://
www.datetoorder.com/ . The
podcast series is available
free of charge athttp://
feeds.feedburner.com/
xyonthefly
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