It is an awful feeling when
you realize that your man is
being cold and distant
towards you and he has not
bothered to make any
physical contact with you of
late. There are many women
who are being faced with the
cold reality of their men
losing desire for them. If you
too are afraid that your man
does not want you sexually,
try out these tips and make
him want you again.
Be ready to make
changes
It is useless to want him to
desire you again if you are
not willing to be the first to
make some changes. You will
only be successful if you
are ready to face facts and
even confess that you
could be the reason for him
losing interest. Once you are
willing to make the
necessary changes even if
it means a lot of sacrifice
and trouble on your part -
you will be successful.
Find out why he has
changed
Try to get down to the "nitty
gritty" and find out the real
reason for his lack of desire
for you. Is it because you no
longer look sexy and
beautiful? Is it because he
has actually found some
one else? It is important to
get to the bottom of the
problem and identify it at
once.
Look desirable
Stop being so lazy and
lethargic where your looks
are concerned. If you want
him to sexually desire you,
you will have to give him
something to desire! Get
back into shape and wear
the type of clothes that will
make you look gorgeous and
desirable. He will be instantly
delighted to see you looking
so sexy and won't be able to
wait to take you to bed.
Surprise him by doing the
unexpected
Think back and see if your
sex life had become too
boring and predictable. Have
you been ignoring his needs
and stopped encouraging his
fantasies? If you have not
been satisfying him
physically it is no wonder
that he has stopped being
attracted to you physically.
Surprise him by doing the
unexpected and delight him
in the bedroom.
Revive the romance and
fan the flames of desire
Don't take things for
granted and revive the
romance in your relationship.
Give him the time and
attention that will make him
feel special and loved. Write
him love notes and buy
yourself some sexy lingerie
that will fan the flames of
desire.
Get rid of outside
influences
If you know of any outside
influences that are pulling
him away and stopping him
from giving you enough of
time and loving - do
everything you can to get
rid of them. Friends could try
to pull him away and get him
addicted to other activities
other than being with you.
Make him see that you are
important.
Pretend that you are
being pulled away
He could have started
taking you for granted and
stopped bothering about
making you happy thinking
that you will always be
around, no matter what! You
can put a stop to this by
pretending that you are
being pulled away! If you
make him jealous and
worried that you could leave
him, he may give you his
attention and start desiring
you again.
Monday, April 25, 2011
The Characteristics Of AGuy That Girls ShouldLook Out ForBy Belinda Guo Pei
Two years ago, after dating
with my boyfriend of 4
years, we were starting to
talk about wedding, marriage
and having kids. I didn't know
why, but somehow, I just
couldn't visualise or imagine
us together? So, I took a big
step, to cool things off for
awhile, to think about what I
was really looking for in a
future partner.
At that point in time, I was
still taking my double
degree, had all the time in
the world, and since I didn't
know what I was really
looking for in a partner, I
ended up changing boyfriend
every 3months, to the
extent that none of my
friends in school bothers to
remember their names
anymore.
Surprisingly, I feel that it
helps me quite a lot. Mainly
because I was not really
emotionally attached to any
of these boyfriends (i like
them though), it made me
became more rational and
logical in my thinking's. I was
able to step out and see the
relationship in another
perspective.
From mama's boy, to a
nerdy, studious boy,
gangster, emo (goodness! he
cried 90% of the time we
spent together.),
bodybuilder, psychopath
(yes, and is hard to tell
whether he is lying or not.),
successful regional
manager, etc, until I met my
current boyfriend.
There are some
requirements you might
already have, for me, it was
just adding on to what I feel
every girl should deserved.
Here is a list you may want
to consider.
Having a guy who is
Thoughtful
Is a way of showing
appreciation on the things
you have done, or that he
has thought about you. Like,
helping you out with the
dishes or take the garbage
out (without you having to
say) while is your time to
relax after preparing for
dinner. Or perhaps, has he
bought anything for you
when he was out with his
friends the other day? Or
brought you some
sandwiches to the office
knowing that you will be too
busy to have your meal. He
doesnt have to do this all
the time, but if he loves you
enough, he would have his
moments of showing you
using by his actions.
Having a guy who is
Initiative
I know we girls are capable
of opening the door
ourselves, have the
strength to carry a pile of
books, but girls are still girls,
we love the idea of being
pampered by our guys, we
love to feel like princess no
matter how old we are, and
that we can rely on them.
The most important reason,
we love to show off and be
the envy of most girls.
Is he Mature enough
Whether he is alone with you
or he is with a group of
people, he seems to be
always the one talking or
commenting LOUDLY, as if
they are hoping that
someone else will hear them
too. Worst, he is always
complaining how lousy the
food is, how bad the
economy is, and yet thinking
that he is so smart to tell
everyone how he feels
about certain things, not
knowing how annoying he is.
Yes, he may make sense
and is brilliantly smart. But
trusted me, the mature ones
are mostly composed, with
poise, speak only when is
needed, and every
sentences create impact.
This is the kind of man you
will want to bring home to
show your parents.
Having a guy who is
Sensitive (Tactful)
I was at the shopping mall
with my girlfriends the other
day, and I overheard this
guy who was commenting to
his girlfriend's friend that
she should have kept her
long hair at the first place,
because short hair makes
her look like tomboy. Some
jokes may be funny, but
having a guy who kept on
teasing or joke about how a
girl look, or how she
dresses, is just insensitive
and purely rude. This is the
type of guy you would not
want. Regardless who is the
one being teased at, he is
just bad with his people's
skills.
He just went on and on
laughing about how big her
face was, obviously very
oblivious to the facial
expressions on the offended
looking friend, and the
embarrassed girlfriend.
Every girl wants a boyfriend
who is sensitive towards
their needs and also their
friend's feelings.
This is something you might
want to take note of when
you start dating, as some
girls may find it funny at
first, but later in the
relationship, this behaviour
could be very jeopardising.
At the first place, we do not
need a guy to make us feel
lousy or to bring us down.
Is he Humourous
Some things in life are not
meant to be funny, but can
he cheer you up and make
you laugh when you are
down?
Do you guys have the
Chemistry
Do the two of you have
things to talk about? Will he
be able to sense and come
to your rescue when you are
in a sticky situation at his
cousin's wedding? Do you
guys have the chemistry
together? When you dont
feel like talking, does he
stays by your side, just to
be around, and there is no
sense of awkward silence?
Having a guy who is
Respectful in the things
he does
He is proud of the things he
does, he is full of drive,
ambitious, gentleman, and
you have a lot of respect
for him. If he is just a lazy,
useless couch potato, who
just live day to day, you will
most probably end up
resenting him.
Having a guy who has
Similar Values / Goals
If you are family oriented,
and you loves kids, find a
guy who has the same value
as you. Remember, you cant
change someone, so do not
think you can in the future.
A guy who isn't Shy to
express his love for you
A guy should say that he
loves you because he really
meant it, not because you
want him to. Hold on to a guy
who makes you feel loved
and will say it.
He allows you to Be
Yourself
Lastly, the guy who thinks
greatly of you. Thinks you
are the most beautiful
woman in the world, even on
days you feel gross and
unglamorous.
So, what exactly are you
looking for?
Belinda Guo is a Dedicated
Relationship Advisor who has
Helped Many Couples
Enhance Their Love
Relationship.
with my boyfriend of 4
years, we were starting to
talk about wedding, marriage
and having kids. I didn't know
why, but somehow, I just
couldn't visualise or imagine
us together? So, I took a big
step, to cool things off for
awhile, to think about what I
was really looking for in a
future partner.
At that point in time, I was
still taking my double
degree, had all the time in
the world, and since I didn't
know what I was really
looking for in a partner, I
ended up changing boyfriend
every 3months, to the
extent that none of my
friends in school bothers to
remember their names
anymore.
Surprisingly, I feel that it
helps me quite a lot. Mainly
because I was not really
emotionally attached to any
of these boyfriends (i like
them though), it made me
became more rational and
logical in my thinking's. I was
able to step out and see the
relationship in another
perspective.
From mama's boy, to a
nerdy, studious boy,
gangster, emo (goodness! he
cried 90% of the time we
spent together.),
bodybuilder, psychopath
(yes, and is hard to tell
whether he is lying or not.),
successful regional
manager, etc, until I met my
current boyfriend.
There are some
requirements you might
already have, for me, it was
just adding on to what I feel
every girl should deserved.
Here is a list you may want
to consider.
Having a guy who is
Thoughtful
Is a way of showing
appreciation on the things
you have done, or that he
has thought about you. Like,
helping you out with the
dishes or take the garbage
out (without you having to
say) while is your time to
relax after preparing for
dinner. Or perhaps, has he
bought anything for you
when he was out with his
friends the other day? Or
brought you some
sandwiches to the office
knowing that you will be too
busy to have your meal. He
doesnt have to do this all
the time, but if he loves you
enough, he would have his
moments of showing you
using by his actions.
Having a guy who is
Initiative
I know we girls are capable
of opening the door
ourselves, have the
strength to carry a pile of
books, but girls are still girls,
we love the idea of being
pampered by our guys, we
love to feel like princess no
matter how old we are, and
that we can rely on them.
The most important reason,
we love to show off and be
the envy of most girls.
Is he Mature enough
Whether he is alone with you
or he is with a group of
people, he seems to be
always the one talking or
commenting LOUDLY, as if
they are hoping that
someone else will hear them
too. Worst, he is always
complaining how lousy the
food is, how bad the
economy is, and yet thinking
that he is so smart to tell
everyone how he feels
about certain things, not
knowing how annoying he is.
Yes, he may make sense
and is brilliantly smart. But
trusted me, the mature ones
are mostly composed, with
poise, speak only when is
needed, and every
sentences create impact.
This is the kind of man you
will want to bring home to
show your parents.
Having a guy who is
Sensitive (Tactful)
I was at the shopping mall
with my girlfriends the other
day, and I overheard this
guy who was commenting to
his girlfriend's friend that
she should have kept her
long hair at the first place,
because short hair makes
her look like tomboy. Some
jokes may be funny, but
having a guy who kept on
teasing or joke about how a
girl look, or how she
dresses, is just insensitive
and purely rude. This is the
type of guy you would not
want. Regardless who is the
one being teased at, he is
just bad with his people's
skills.
He just went on and on
laughing about how big her
face was, obviously very
oblivious to the facial
expressions on the offended
looking friend, and the
embarrassed girlfriend.
Every girl wants a boyfriend
who is sensitive towards
their needs and also their
friend's feelings.
This is something you might
want to take note of when
you start dating, as some
girls may find it funny at
first, but later in the
relationship, this behaviour
could be very jeopardising.
At the first place, we do not
need a guy to make us feel
lousy or to bring us down.
Is he Humourous
Some things in life are not
meant to be funny, but can
he cheer you up and make
you laugh when you are
down?
Do you guys have the
Chemistry
Do the two of you have
things to talk about? Will he
be able to sense and come
to your rescue when you are
in a sticky situation at his
cousin's wedding? Do you
guys have the chemistry
together? When you dont
feel like talking, does he
stays by your side, just to
be around, and there is no
sense of awkward silence?
Having a guy who is
Respectful in the things
he does
He is proud of the things he
does, he is full of drive,
ambitious, gentleman, and
you have a lot of respect
for him. If he is just a lazy,
useless couch potato, who
just live day to day, you will
most probably end up
resenting him.
Having a guy who has
Similar Values / Goals
If you are family oriented,
and you loves kids, find a
guy who has the same value
as you. Remember, you cant
change someone, so do not
think you can in the future.
A guy who isn't Shy to
express his love for you
A guy should say that he
loves you because he really
meant it, not because you
want him to. Hold on to a guy
who makes you feel loved
and will say it.
He allows you to Be
Yourself
Lastly, the guy who thinks
greatly of you. Thinks you
are the most beautiful
woman in the world, even on
days you feel gross and
unglamorous.
So, what exactly are you
looking for?
Belinda Guo is a Dedicated
Relationship Advisor who has
Helped Many Couples
Enhance Their Love
Relationship.
Should I Just Be His FriendIf He Isn't Ready for aRelationship? Learn WhatYou Can DoBy Amy Tiffin
Are you stuck in a situation
where your man has made it
absolutely clear that he isn't
ready for a relationship and
would only like you as a
friend?
Are you struggling to make a
decision and don't really
know what to do? Well, it's
never an easy decision when
you want a relationship and
he doesn't. It's never easy
to deal with the pain of
knowing that maybe things
might not go as you planned.
But, the big question still
remains - Should you still be
friends with him? Here are
some useful tips for you...
Can you really accept him
as a friend?
You should first ask
yourself whether you can
even stick around him as a
friend or not. Being friends is
completely different than
being in a relationship. It's
more casual and things
might not be as intense as
you expected them to be.
At the same time you really
need to figure out your
reasons behind sticking
around as just a friend. If
you feel that some day he
might change his mind about
you and will magically start
to see you as a potential
lover then you are only
setting yourself up for
massive pain.
Don't be his friend in case
you want to convince him to
accept you as a lover, it
might not happen ever and
you will only be stuck in the
cycle of constant pain and
frustration.
Vital points -
Only take the friendship
route if you are ready to
accept that you might not
ever be in a relationship with
him.
If you still have feelings
towards him which you can't
seem to get rid of then it's
better to end things than to
be just friends.
Temporary pain Vs long
term pain...
The decision is completely in
your hands. You have to
decide whether you want to
remain in pain forever or do
you want to get rid of it
once and for all.
Most women are confused in
this department, they tend
to take shortcuts and end
up doing all the things they
shouldn't do expecting
things to get better, but this
always backfires and things
end up getting worse.
Therefore another important
thing you need to keep in
mind is to first figure out
exactly what type of
feelings you are
experiencing and make a
decision based on those
feelings.
For example, take out a
sheet of paper and answer
the following questions as a
yes or a no...
Q1 - Do I still have intense
feelings for him?
Q2 - Will being friends with
him cause me pain or
pleasure in the long run?
Q3 - Will I be able to accept
the fact that he might
date other people while I
am still a friend?
Q4 - Will being his friend
benefit me or harm me?
And really think about all
your answers. In case, you
can clearly sense that being
his friend will only cause you
more pain than pleasure in
the long run then it's highly
recommended that you end
things right away.
Vital points -
Don't do anything under the
influence of emotions. If you
still have feelings for him
then you might be driven
towards taking anything
which comes your way. Don't
be his friend just because
you still want him around,
this will only make
everything more painful.
You can't convince him to
get into a relationship with
you therefore try to
convince yourself that it
might not happen at all.
After all, the only person
you can control is yourself.
If you end things right now
then you will only suffer
temporary pain but if you
become his friend expecting
that some day you will get
what you want then you
have only set yourself up
for permanent pain.
where your man has made it
absolutely clear that he isn't
ready for a relationship and
would only like you as a
friend?
Are you struggling to make a
decision and don't really
know what to do? Well, it's
never an easy decision when
you want a relationship and
he doesn't. It's never easy
to deal with the pain of
knowing that maybe things
might not go as you planned.
But, the big question still
remains - Should you still be
friends with him? Here are
some useful tips for you...
Can you really accept him
as a friend?
You should first ask
yourself whether you can
even stick around him as a
friend or not. Being friends is
completely different than
being in a relationship. It's
more casual and things
might not be as intense as
you expected them to be.
At the same time you really
need to figure out your
reasons behind sticking
around as just a friend. If
you feel that some day he
might change his mind about
you and will magically start
to see you as a potential
lover then you are only
setting yourself up for
massive pain.
Don't be his friend in case
you want to convince him to
accept you as a lover, it
might not happen ever and
you will only be stuck in the
cycle of constant pain and
frustration.
Vital points -
Only take the friendship
route if you are ready to
accept that you might not
ever be in a relationship with
him.
If you still have feelings
towards him which you can't
seem to get rid of then it's
better to end things than to
be just friends.
Temporary pain Vs long
term pain...
The decision is completely in
your hands. You have to
decide whether you want to
remain in pain forever or do
you want to get rid of it
once and for all.
Most women are confused in
this department, they tend
to take shortcuts and end
up doing all the things they
shouldn't do expecting
things to get better, but this
always backfires and things
end up getting worse.
Therefore another important
thing you need to keep in
mind is to first figure out
exactly what type of
feelings you are
experiencing and make a
decision based on those
feelings.
For example, take out a
sheet of paper and answer
the following questions as a
yes or a no...
Q1 - Do I still have intense
feelings for him?
Q2 - Will being friends with
him cause me pain or
pleasure in the long run?
Q3 - Will I be able to accept
the fact that he might
date other people while I
am still a friend?
Q4 - Will being his friend
benefit me or harm me?
And really think about all
your answers. In case, you
can clearly sense that being
his friend will only cause you
more pain than pleasure in
the long run then it's highly
recommended that you end
things right away.
Vital points -
Don't do anything under the
influence of emotions. If you
still have feelings for him
then you might be driven
towards taking anything
which comes your way. Don't
be his friend just because
you still want him around,
this will only make
everything more painful.
You can't convince him to
get into a relationship with
you therefore try to
convince yourself that it
might not happen at all.
After all, the only person
you can control is yourself.
If you end things right now
then you will only suffer
temporary pain but if you
become his friend expecting
that some day you will get
what you want then you
have only set yourself up
for permanent pain.
Difference Between Loveand Infatuation
Are you really in love? Or do
you think that you are in
love?
There is a big difference
between Love and
infatuation. Some people
can't tell the difference,
thinking they are in love but
really it is a deep infatuation.
Infatuation is instant desire -
one set of glands calling to
another.
Love is friendship that has
caught fire. It takes root and
grows, one day at a time.
Infatuation is marked by a
feeling of insecurity. You are
excited and eager, but not
genuinely happy.
There are nagging doubts,
unanswered questions, little
bits and pieces about your
beloved that you would just
as soon not examine too
closely. It might spoil the
dream.
Love is the quiet
understanding and mature
acceptance of imperfection.
It is real. It gives you
strength and grows beyond
you - to bolster your
beloved. You are warmed by
their presence, even when
they are away.
Miles do not separate you.
You have so many
wonderful little films in your
head that you keep
replaying.
But near or far, you know
they are yours, and you can
wait.
Infatuation says, "We must
get married right away. I
can't risk losing them."
Love says, "Be patient. Don't
panic. Plan your future with
confidence."
Infatuation has an element
of sexual excitement.
Whenever you are together,
you hope it will end in
intimacy.
Love is not based on sex. It
is the maturation of
friendship, which makes sex
so much sweeter. You must
be friends before you can
be lovers.
Infatuation lacks confidence.
When they're away, you
wonder if they're cheating.
Sometimes, you check.
Love means trust. You are
calm, secure and
unthreatened. They feel
your trust, and it makes
them even more
trustworthy.
Infatuation might lead you to
do things you will regret, but
love never steers you in the
wrong direction.
Love is an upper. It makes
you feel whole. It completes
the circle. It fills the empty
space in your heart.
Love is elevating. It lifts you
up. It makes you look up. It
makes you think up.
It makes you a better
person than you were
before. If you have love in
your life, it can make up for
a great many things you
don't have. If there is no
love in your life, whatever
else there is has a lot less
meaning. The secret of our
being is not only to live but
to have something to live
for.
INFATUATION
Infatuation is a feeling; real
love involves a commitment
also. Infatuation is just love
of emotion. Real love,
though, is love of devotion.
Only the emotions are
affected in infatuation, but in
real love both the emotions
and the will are involved.
Next, a person "fall into"
infatuation, but "grows into"
real love.
Guys, have you ever seen a
girl who was so beautiful
that you thought you'd
faint?
This is infatuation! It is based
totally on physical
attraction. often you don't
know much in-depth about
the person you so-called
love. Thus, infatuation is
mostly biological. Also
remember, never tell a girl
you love her, unless you are
willing to marry her.
Then, infatuation is basically
selfish where real love is
basically selfless.Infatuation
is more interested in
satisfying yourself and the
feeling than it is in the other
person.
Real love is primarily
interested in the other
person. It seeks to give
instead of get.. Love
unselfishly seeks the
highest good for the other
person.
Lastly, infatuation is
weakened by time and
separation where real love is
strengthened by time and
separation.
This does not mean that
there will be no pain in
separation. On the contrary,
there is great pain in
separation if
you are truly in love.
LOVE
Now you know what is
infatuation, we will go on to
discuss about the details of
a true love. Love is patient.
The word translated
"patient" means to wait
patiently for the fulfilment
of expectations.
When you have difficulty
dating this girl and she does
not want to come out, if you
truly love her, you will not
complain and blame her, you
must look at the situation
from her point of view -
maybe she is having some
problems which prevented
her from coming out. You
must react to it with
patience and understanding.
Next, have you ever met
someone you liked so much
that you wanted to push the
relationship and make it
progress faster? Sure you
have! Love, however, is
willing to give a relationship
time to grow at a natural
pace.
It does not push but is willing
to wait for the relationship
to grow at a rate that is
satisfactory to both parties.
Love is Kind Love seeks to
encourage and build up
others. It respects the
feelings and emotions of
others..
It finds its greatest
satisfaction in making others
happy.
You can do the following:
1. Give one another things
such as gifts and
encouragement cards.
2. Compliment one another.
Magnify the other party's
strength.
3. Listen to one another. Pay
close attention to what each
of you has to say and make
each other feel that what
each says is important.
4. Treat one another special
in public. Compliment and
encourage one another
sincerely in the presence of
others.
5. Love is Not Jealous.
Jealousy usually indicates
an insecure and immature
heart. Love wants the best
for others, but jealousy is
possessive. Jealous is
reflected in the childish
statement, "If he is going to
talk to her, then he can just
forget
about me!" Often, one
person wants to totally
possess the other and to
restrict her relationships
with others.
6. Love is not about
bragging. Love is not a
windbag and is not anxious
to impress. Often a guy will
brag to a girl, trying to
impress her so that she will
like him. A truly great
person, however, does not
need to exalt himself! Others
will exalt him.
7. Love is Not Arrogant. Love
is not conceited,
boastful,cocky, or stuck-up.
Love, instead, is humble and
has a servant attitude.
Sometimes, a guy may come
across to a girl with an "I
can take you or leave you"
attitude. His demeanour
implies, "You ought to be
thankful that somebody as
neat as me is dating you." Of
course, this is not love.
8. Love always covers. This
word cover means to pass
over in silence, to keep
confidential.
9. Love is patient with the
faults of others. It doesn't
criticise and broadcast to
the world the faults of
others.
Love is there even when it
knows the other is not
perfect.
10. Love always Perseveres.
Love always stands its
ground and hold out. It will
outlast anything. It will even
love in the face of
unrequited love. Real love
will last though all sorts of
trials, tribulations and
stresses.
11. Love is Not Provoked.
This means that love has a
long fuse. It does not
become irritated and angry.
It is not easily offended.
12. Love does not seek its
own. This is the heart of
love. Love is other-centred
rather than self- centred.
Love says, "I love you, I
want to give to you."
Selfishness says, "I love
you, I want you!"
13. Love does not act
unbecomingly. This means
that love does not behave
disgracefully, dishonourably
or indecently. It does not
embarrass others by its
action. It is characterised by
tact and sensitivity. This
also means that love should
have good manner. Be sure
to do little things like
opening doors for your girl,
or offering her your arm
when you walk together.
14. Lastly, Love is forgiving.
This is a MUST for a
successful love story. If a
guy is not willing to forgive
and forget when his
girlfriend is one hour late, he
is not exhibiting love. Love
doesn't hold grudges when it
has been
wronged. It doesn't remain
resentful.
** Remember this: Love
forgets past failures and
sins. **
you think that you are in
love?
There is a big difference
between Love and
infatuation. Some people
can't tell the difference,
thinking they are in love but
really it is a deep infatuation.
Infatuation is instant desire -
one set of glands calling to
another.
Love is friendship that has
caught fire. It takes root and
grows, one day at a time.
Infatuation is marked by a
feeling of insecurity. You are
excited and eager, but not
genuinely happy.
There are nagging doubts,
unanswered questions, little
bits and pieces about your
beloved that you would just
as soon not examine too
closely. It might spoil the
dream.
Love is the quiet
understanding and mature
acceptance of imperfection.
It is real. It gives you
strength and grows beyond
you - to bolster your
beloved. You are warmed by
their presence, even when
they are away.
Miles do not separate you.
You have so many
wonderful little films in your
head that you keep
replaying.
But near or far, you know
they are yours, and you can
wait.
Infatuation says, "We must
get married right away. I
can't risk losing them."
Love says, "Be patient. Don't
panic. Plan your future with
confidence."
Infatuation has an element
of sexual excitement.
Whenever you are together,
you hope it will end in
intimacy.
Love is not based on sex. It
is the maturation of
friendship, which makes sex
so much sweeter. You must
be friends before you can
be lovers.
Infatuation lacks confidence.
When they're away, you
wonder if they're cheating.
Sometimes, you check.
Love means trust. You are
calm, secure and
unthreatened. They feel
your trust, and it makes
them even more
trustworthy.
Infatuation might lead you to
do things you will regret, but
love never steers you in the
wrong direction.
Love is an upper. It makes
you feel whole. It completes
the circle. It fills the empty
space in your heart.
Love is elevating. It lifts you
up. It makes you look up. It
makes you think up.
It makes you a better
person than you were
before. If you have love in
your life, it can make up for
a great many things you
don't have. If there is no
love in your life, whatever
else there is has a lot less
meaning. The secret of our
being is not only to live but
to have something to live
for.
INFATUATION
Infatuation is a feeling; real
love involves a commitment
also. Infatuation is just love
of emotion. Real love,
though, is love of devotion.
Only the emotions are
affected in infatuation, but in
real love both the emotions
and the will are involved.
Next, a person "fall into"
infatuation, but "grows into"
real love.
Guys, have you ever seen a
girl who was so beautiful
that you thought you'd
faint?
This is infatuation! It is based
totally on physical
attraction. often you don't
know much in-depth about
the person you so-called
love. Thus, infatuation is
mostly biological. Also
remember, never tell a girl
you love her, unless you are
willing to marry her.
Then, infatuation is basically
selfish where real love is
basically selfless.Infatuation
is more interested in
satisfying yourself and the
feeling than it is in the other
person.
Real love is primarily
interested in the other
person. It seeks to give
instead of get.. Love
unselfishly seeks the
highest good for the other
person.
Lastly, infatuation is
weakened by time and
separation where real love is
strengthened by time and
separation.
This does not mean that
there will be no pain in
separation. On the contrary,
there is great pain in
separation if
you are truly in love.
LOVE
Now you know what is
infatuation, we will go on to
discuss about the details of
a true love. Love is patient.
The word translated
"patient" means to wait
patiently for the fulfilment
of expectations.
When you have difficulty
dating this girl and she does
not want to come out, if you
truly love her, you will not
complain and blame her, you
must look at the situation
from her point of view -
maybe she is having some
problems which prevented
her from coming out. You
must react to it with
patience and understanding.
Next, have you ever met
someone you liked so much
that you wanted to push the
relationship and make it
progress faster? Sure you
have! Love, however, is
willing to give a relationship
time to grow at a natural
pace.
It does not push but is willing
to wait for the relationship
to grow at a rate that is
satisfactory to both parties.
Love is Kind Love seeks to
encourage and build up
others. It respects the
feelings and emotions of
others..
It finds its greatest
satisfaction in making others
happy.
You can do the following:
1. Give one another things
such as gifts and
encouragement cards.
2. Compliment one another.
Magnify the other party's
strength.
3. Listen to one another. Pay
close attention to what each
of you has to say and make
each other feel that what
each says is important.
4. Treat one another special
in public. Compliment and
encourage one another
sincerely in the presence of
others.
5. Love is Not Jealous.
Jealousy usually indicates
an insecure and immature
heart. Love wants the best
for others, but jealousy is
possessive. Jealous is
reflected in the childish
statement, "If he is going to
talk to her, then he can just
forget
about me!" Often, one
person wants to totally
possess the other and to
restrict her relationships
with others.
6. Love is not about
bragging. Love is not a
windbag and is not anxious
to impress. Often a guy will
brag to a girl, trying to
impress her so that she will
like him. A truly great
person, however, does not
need to exalt himself! Others
will exalt him.
7. Love is Not Arrogant. Love
is not conceited,
boastful,cocky, or stuck-up.
Love, instead, is humble and
has a servant attitude.
Sometimes, a guy may come
across to a girl with an "I
can take you or leave you"
attitude. His demeanour
implies, "You ought to be
thankful that somebody as
neat as me is dating you." Of
course, this is not love.
8. Love always covers. This
word cover means to pass
over in silence, to keep
confidential.
9. Love is patient with the
faults of others. It doesn't
criticise and broadcast to
the world the faults of
others.
Love is there even when it
knows the other is not
perfect.
10. Love always Perseveres.
Love always stands its
ground and hold out. It will
outlast anything. It will even
love in the face of
unrequited love. Real love
will last though all sorts of
trials, tribulations and
stresses.
11. Love is Not Provoked.
This means that love has a
long fuse. It does not
become irritated and angry.
It is not easily offended.
12. Love does not seek its
own. This is the heart of
love. Love is other-centred
rather than self- centred.
Love says, "I love you, I
want to give to you."
Selfishness says, "I love
you, I want you!"
13. Love does not act
unbecomingly. This means
that love does not behave
disgracefully, dishonourably
or indecently. It does not
embarrass others by its
action. It is characterised by
tact and sensitivity. This
also means that love should
have good manner. Be sure
to do little things like
opening doors for your girl,
or offering her your arm
when you walk together.
14. Lastly, Love is forgiving.
This is a MUST for a
successful love story. If a
guy is not willing to forgive
and forget when his
girlfriend is one hour late, he
is not exhibiting love. Love
doesn't hold grudges when it
has been
wronged. It doesn't remain
resentful.
** Remember this: Love
forgets past failures and
sins. **
Things Girls Should KnowAbout Guys
2. If you think you're fat, you
probably are. Don't ask us.
3. Learn to work the toilet
seat: if it's up put it down.
4. Don't cut your hair. Ever.
5. Birthdays, Valentines, and
Anniversaries are not
quests to see if he can find
the perfect present, again!
6. If you ask a question you
don't want an answer to,
expect an answer you don't
want to hear.
7. Sometimes, he's not
thinking about you. Live with
it.
8. Don't ask him what he's
thinking about unless you
are prepared to discuss
such topics as navel lint,
the shotgun formation and
monster trucks.
9. Get rid of your cat. And no,
it's not different, it's just like
every other cat.
10. Dogs are better than ANY
cats. Period.
11. Sunday = Sports. It's like
the full moon or the
changing of the tides. Let it
be.
12. Shopping is not a sport.
13. Anything you wear is fine.
Really.
14. You have enough
clothes.
15. You have too many
shoes.
16. Crying is blackmail. Use it
if you must, but don't
expect us to like it.
17. Your brother is an idiot,
you ex-boyfriend is an idiot
and your Dad probably is
too.
18. Ask for what you want.
Subtle hints don't work.
19. No, he doesn't know what
day it is. He never will. Mark
anniversaries on a calendar.
20. Yes, pissing standing up
is more difficult than peeing
from point blank range. We're
bound to miss sometimes.
21. Most guys own two or
three pairs of shoes -- What
makes you think we'd be any
good at choosing which pair,
out of thirty, would look
good with your dress?
22. Yes and No are perfectly
acceptable answers.
23. A headache that lasts
for 17 months is a problem.
See a doctor.
24. Your Mom doesn't have
to be our best friend.
25. Foreign films are best
left to foreigners.
26. Check you oil.
27. Don't give us 50 rules
when 25 will do.
28. Don't fake it. We'd rather
be ineffective than
deceived.
29. It is neither in your best
interest or ours to take the
quiz together.
30. Anything we said 6 or 8
months ago is inadmissible in
an argument. All comments
become null and void after 7
days.
31. If you don't dress like
the Victoria's Secret girls,
don't expect us to act like
soap opera guys.
32. If something we said can
be interpreted two ways, and
one of the ways makes you
sad and angry, we meant
the other one.
33. Let us ogle. If we don't
look at other women, how
can we know how pretty you
are?
34. You can either ask us to
do something OR tell us how
you want it done -- not both.
35. Whenever possible,
please say whatever you
have to say during
commercials.
36. Christopher Columbus
didn't need directions, and
neither do we.
37. Women wearing Wonder
bras and low-cut blouses
lose their right to complain
about having their boobs
stared at.
38. Consider Golf a mini-
vacation from you. We need
it, just like you do.
39. Telling us that the
models in the men's
magazines are airbrushed
makes you look jealous and
petty and it's certainly not
going to deter us from
reading the magazine.
40. The relationship is never
going to be like it was the
first two months we were
going out.
AND FINALLY, THE NUMBER ONE
RULE:
1. Don't rub the lamp if you
don't want the genie to
come out.
probably are. Don't ask us.
3. Learn to work the toilet
seat: if it's up put it down.
4. Don't cut your hair. Ever.
5. Birthdays, Valentines, and
Anniversaries are not
quests to see if he can find
the perfect present, again!
6. If you ask a question you
don't want an answer to,
expect an answer you don't
want to hear.
7. Sometimes, he's not
thinking about you. Live with
it.
8. Don't ask him what he's
thinking about unless you
are prepared to discuss
such topics as navel lint,
the shotgun formation and
monster trucks.
9. Get rid of your cat. And no,
it's not different, it's just like
every other cat.
10. Dogs are better than ANY
cats. Period.
11. Sunday = Sports. It's like
the full moon or the
changing of the tides. Let it
be.
12. Shopping is not a sport.
13. Anything you wear is fine.
Really.
14. You have enough
clothes.
15. You have too many
shoes.
16. Crying is blackmail. Use it
if you must, but don't
expect us to like it.
17. Your brother is an idiot,
you ex-boyfriend is an idiot
and your Dad probably is
too.
18. Ask for what you want.
Subtle hints don't work.
19. No, he doesn't know what
day it is. He never will. Mark
anniversaries on a calendar.
20. Yes, pissing standing up
is more difficult than peeing
from point blank range. We're
bound to miss sometimes.
21. Most guys own two or
three pairs of shoes -- What
makes you think we'd be any
good at choosing which pair,
out of thirty, would look
good with your dress?
22. Yes and No are perfectly
acceptable answers.
23. A headache that lasts
for 17 months is a problem.
See a doctor.
24. Your Mom doesn't have
to be our best friend.
25. Foreign films are best
left to foreigners.
26. Check you oil.
27. Don't give us 50 rules
when 25 will do.
28. Don't fake it. We'd rather
be ineffective than
deceived.
29. It is neither in your best
interest or ours to take the
quiz together.
30. Anything we said 6 or 8
months ago is inadmissible in
an argument. All comments
become null and void after 7
days.
31. If you don't dress like
the Victoria's Secret girls,
don't expect us to act like
soap opera guys.
32. If something we said can
be interpreted two ways, and
one of the ways makes you
sad and angry, we meant
the other one.
33. Let us ogle. If we don't
look at other women, how
can we know how pretty you
are?
34. You can either ask us to
do something OR tell us how
you want it done -- not both.
35. Whenever possible,
please say whatever you
have to say during
commercials.
36. Christopher Columbus
didn't need directions, and
neither do we.
37. Women wearing Wonder
bras and low-cut blouses
lose their right to complain
about having their boobs
stared at.
38. Consider Golf a mini-
vacation from you. We need
it, just like you do.
39. Telling us that the
models in the men's
magazines are airbrushed
makes you look jealous and
petty and it's certainly not
going to deter us from
reading the magazine.
40. The relationship is never
going to be like it was the
first two months we were
going out.
AND FINALLY, THE NUMBER ONE
RULE:
1. Don't rub the lamp if you
don't want the genie to
come out.
In Bed With a Stranger by: Connie H. Deutsch
We're told we don't know
someone until we've lived
with them but there have
been too many stories that
prove that, even then, we
don't really know the person.
We may know their hot
buttons, their favorite color,
their thinking patterns,
interests, fears, spending
habits, personality quirks,
etc., but we don't really
know them.
Many years ago, a woman
told me the story of her
marriage. She had been
married for more than
twenty years and thought
she knew her husband very
well. They had a fairly close
relationship and shared
many of the same interests.
Their beliefs and goals were
similar and they enjoyed the
same sense of humor. And
she had lived with him for
over twenty years.
One night, at 3:00 a.m., there
was a loud knock at her
door. She went to answer it
and was greeted by several
law enforcement officers
who were there to arrest her
husband for murders that
he had committed in four
different states. She was so
sure they had the wrong
address that she argued
with them until she looked at
her husband's face. His
expression said he knew the
jig was up. He was later tried
and convicted and his wife
had to pick up the pieces of
her life and raise their
children by herself.
We've all heard countless
stories of men and women
who don't tell their partners
that they are married. Some
say they are getting a
divorce while others say
they are already divorced
and then, in many cases, the
wife or husband of these
people, finds out about the
deception and contacts their
"replacement."
One man romanced a woman
for close to two years
before his wife found out
about their liaison and went
to his lover's house to
confront her. His reaction,
instead of being repentant,
was one of annoyance that
he had been found out and
their affair was ending. He
didn't care that his girlfriend
was devastated and that
she had wasted two years
of her life thinking that she
was going to marry him; all
he cared about was that he
had been found out.
A woman told her boyfriend
that she was single and said
she could only see him
between assignments
because her job involved a
lot of traveling. This went on
for eighteen months. One
day, her husband contacted
this man to tell him that he
had hired a private
detective who had proof of
his wife's infidelity and
unless this man stopped
seeing her, he would see him
in court.
Not all relationships have
stories like these to tell but
there are other stories that
bear similar marks of
deception. We always hear
people saying that it's never
a good policy to tell your
partner everything; it takes
away some of the mystique
that makes a relationship
interesting. But what if that
mystique is really a cover-
up for a person's inability to
have a close, intimate
relationship? What if that
mystique is underscoring
someone's unavailability for
reasons other than keeping
the mystery alive and well in
their relationship?
In this era of sophisticated
technology, it's not too
difficult to discover a lot of
personal information about
someone without having to
leave your livingroom chair.
All you need is a computer,
an Internet provider, Google,
and the social networking
sites. I'm told you can
actually attain a fairly
complete dossier on just
about anyone. If that's not
as thorough as you would
like, you can hire a private
detective to fill in the
missing details.
But the real issue is that
people usually prefer to see
their partner through rose-
colored glasses. They don't
want to distort their
perception with unsavory
details that might put an end
to their relationship.
In years gone by, most
people met prospective
dates through introductions
so they knew the pertinent
information before they
even went out on the first
date. It was also a form of
protection because they
were meeting that person
through someone who knew
someone and there were
very clear boundaries of
acceptable social behavior.
Nowadays, people meet in
singles bars, over the
Internet, and various other
venues that don't offer any
of these safeguards.
It just makes sense that
when you meet someone
who interests you, do as
much of a background
check as you can before
you go out on that first
date. After you go out on a
few dates, you already have
a vested interest in that
person and you might not
want to see the obvious red
flags. While this background
check might seem to take
the magic out of the getting
to know you stage, it could
give you a feeling of
security to know that what
you see is likely to be what
you'll get.
About The Author
Connie H. Deutsch has been
a business consultant and
personal advisor to clients
from around the world. She
wrote a newspaper Advice
Column for 16 years and is
the author of the book,
Whispers of the Soul and co-
author of an E-book, Getting
Rich While the World Falls
Apart, offered as a free
download on her website.
She wrote and produced two
CDs on Meditation and
Relationships and has done
coaching on customer
service and employee
relationships. Her website is:
http://
www.conniehdeutsch.com
someone until we've lived
with them but there have
been too many stories that
prove that, even then, we
don't really know the person.
We may know their hot
buttons, their favorite color,
their thinking patterns,
interests, fears, spending
habits, personality quirks,
etc., but we don't really
know them.
Many years ago, a woman
told me the story of her
marriage. She had been
married for more than
twenty years and thought
she knew her husband very
well. They had a fairly close
relationship and shared
many of the same interests.
Their beliefs and goals were
similar and they enjoyed the
same sense of humor. And
she had lived with him for
over twenty years.
One night, at 3:00 a.m., there
was a loud knock at her
door. She went to answer it
and was greeted by several
law enforcement officers
who were there to arrest her
husband for murders that
he had committed in four
different states. She was so
sure they had the wrong
address that she argued
with them until she looked at
her husband's face. His
expression said he knew the
jig was up. He was later tried
and convicted and his wife
had to pick up the pieces of
her life and raise their
children by herself.
We've all heard countless
stories of men and women
who don't tell their partners
that they are married. Some
say they are getting a
divorce while others say
they are already divorced
and then, in many cases, the
wife or husband of these
people, finds out about the
deception and contacts their
"replacement."
One man romanced a woman
for close to two years
before his wife found out
about their liaison and went
to his lover's house to
confront her. His reaction,
instead of being repentant,
was one of annoyance that
he had been found out and
their affair was ending. He
didn't care that his girlfriend
was devastated and that
she had wasted two years
of her life thinking that she
was going to marry him; all
he cared about was that he
had been found out.
A woman told her boyfriend
that she was single and said
she could only see him
between assignments
because her job involved a
lot of traveling. This went on
for eighteen months. One
day, her husband contacted
this man to tell him that he
had hired a private
detective who had proof of
his wife's infidelity and
unless this man stopped
seeing her, he would see him
in court.
Not all relationships have
stories like these to tell but
there are other stories that
bear similar marks of
deception. We always hear
people saying that it's never
a good policy to tell your
partner everything; it takes
away some of the mystique
that makes a relationship
interesting. But what if that
mystique is really a cover-
up for a person's inability to
have a close, intimate
relationship? What if that
mystique is underscoring
someone's unavailability for
reasons other than keeping
the mystery alive and well in
their relationship?
In this era of sophisticated
technology, it's not too
difficult to discover a lot of
personal information about
someone without having to
leave your livingroom chair.
All you need is a computer,
an Internet provider, Google,
and the social networking
sites. I'm told you can
actually attain a fairly
complete dossier on just
about anyone. If that's not
as thorough as you would
like, you can hire a private
detective to fill in the
missing details.
But the real issue is that
people usually prefer to see
their partner through rose-
colored glasses. They don't
want to distort their
perception with unsavory
details that might put an end
to their relationship.
In years gone by, most
people met prospective
dates through introductions
so they knew the pertinent
information before they
even went out on the first
date. It was also a form of
protection because they
were meeting that person
through someone who knew
someone and there were
very clear boundaries of
acceptable social behavior.
Nowadays, people meet in
singles bars, over the
Internet, and various other
venues that don't offer any
of these safeguards.
It just makes sense that
when you meet someone
who interests you, do as
much of a background
check as you can before
you go out on that first
date. After you go out on a
few dates, you already have
a vested interest in that
person and you might not
want to see the obvious red
flags. While this background
check might seem to take
the magic out of the getting
to know you stage, it could
give you a feeling of
security to know that what
you see is likely to be what
you'll get.
About The Author
Connie H. Deutsch has been
a business consultant and
personal advisor to clients
from around the world. She
wrote a newspaper Advice
Column for 16 years and is
the author of the book,
Whispers of the Soul and co-
author of an E-book, Getting
Rich While the World Falls
Apart, offered as a free
download on her website.
She wrote and produced two
CDs on Meditation and
Relationships and has done
coaching on customer
service and employee
relationships. Her website is:
http://
www.conniehdeutsch.com
How To Continue AConversation With A Girl In5 Simple Steps by: Michael Lee
Learning how to continue a
conversation with a girl is
very easy once you’ve
actually started talking with
her. The hardest part is now
done and over with.
Continuing where you left off
- now that’s the fun part.
Read on to learn how to
continue a conversation with
a girl!
Step 1: Ask open-ended
questions.
When you find yourself
running out of things to say,
ask her open-ended
questions. These are the
kind of questions that aren’t
answerable by yes or no.
They require an explanation
or elaboration which ensures
continuous communication
with a girl.
Questions that begin with
how, why, when, where and
what are examples of open-
ended questions.
Step 2: Pay her a
compliment.
Ladies love compliments; so
if you want to keep her
interested, say something
nice about her once in a
while. Be subtle and don’t
overdo it though because
then, she’ll think that you’re
insincere; or worse, that you
are running out of things to
say!
Step 3: Keep her talking.
Women, in general, like to
talk about themselves. A
great way on how to
continue a conversation with
a girl is to keep the limelight
on her.
All you have to do is nod at
all the right places and ask
her a question or two about
what she’s talking about. Be
sure to listen to what she’s
saying, so you can pick up
on topics that she would
most likely want to talk
more about.
Step 4: Avoid Sensitive
Topics.
The fastest way to end a
conversation is by venturing
into sensitive topics like
past relationships. Don’t
ever bring up the topic of
exes, because the girl will
most likely clam up and find
an excuse to leave.
Actually, anything that
makes her even the
slightest bit uncomfortable
will end the conversation. If
you accidentally land on a
mine, then change the topic
quickly. Hopefully, you’ll still
be able to salvage the
situation.
Step 5: Relax.
Perhaps the best advice I
can give you is to relax.
Panicking will only break
your train of thought. Simply
enjoy your conversation with
the girl you’re talking to and
the rest will follow. It sounds
cliché but it’s also true.
Have faith in your charms.
Learning how to continue a
conversation with a girl
might seem intimidating at
first; but once you’ve
broken the ice, the rest will
be smooth sailing. Be
yourself and be genuinely
interested in what she has
to say and you’ll have no
problems talking
continuously with any woman
that comes your way.
conversation with a girl is
very easy once you’ve
actually started talking with
her. The hardest part is now
done and over with.
Continuing where you left off
- now that’s the fun part.
Read on to learn how to
continue a conversation with
a girl!
Step 1: Ask open-ended
questions.
When you find yourself
running out of things to say,
ask her open-ended
questions. These are the
kind of questions that aren’t
answerable by yes or no.
They require an explanation
or elaboration which ensures
continuous communication
with a girl.
Questions that begin with
how, why, when, where and
what are examples of open-
ended questions.
Step 2: Pay her a
compliment.
Ladies love compliments; so
if you want to keep her
interested, say something
nice about her once in a
while. Be subtle and don’t
overdo it though because
then, she’ll think that you’re
insincere; or worse, that you
are running out of things to
say!
Step 3: Keep her talking.
Women, in general, like to
talk about themselves. A
great way on how to
continue a conversation with
a girl is to keep the limelight
on her.
All you have to do is nod at
all the right places and ask
her a question or two about
what she’s talking about. Be
sure to listen to what she’s
saying, so you can pick up
on topics that she would
most likely want to talk
more about.
Step 4: Avoid Sensitive
Topics.
The fastest way to end a
conversation is by venturing
into sensitive topics like
past relationships. Don’t
ever bring up the topic of
exes, because the girl will
most likely clam up and find
an excuse to leave.
Actually, anything that
makes her even the
slightest bit uncomfortable
will end the conversation. If
you accidentally land on a
mine, then change the topic
quickly. Hopefully, you’ll still
be able to salvage the
situation.
Step 5: Relax.
Perhaps the best advice I
can give you is to relax.
Panicking will only break
your train of thought. Simply
enjoy your conversation with
the girl you’re talking to and
the rest will follow. It sounds
cliché but it’s also true.
Have faith in your charms.
Learning how to continue a
conversation with a girl
might seem intimidating at
first; but once you’ve
broken the ice, the rest will
be smooth sailing. Be
yourself and be genuinely
interested in what she has
to say and you’ll have no
problems talking
continuously with any woman
that comes your way.
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